Such
friendships usually take the form of a mentor relationship and it often
starts with your skipper or other boss taking special interest in your
performance and career development. But he or she will be very careful
to keep official relationships official because they must be concerned
with the performance of the department or unit as a whole and not play
favorites. Typically such mentoring matures after you or your boss have
been detached. But I should raise a caution flag. (An aid to
navigation, if you will.)
You will notice that most, if not all,
skippers or bosses will address you by your first name. The reverse is,
of course, not in order. Don't think for a minute that because your
skipper or boss addresses you by your first name that you are his or her
friend. Not yet, anyway. Seniors will have occasion to chew you out
(the more modern term is counseling) but don't think that because they
use your first name on such occasions that they are counseling you as a
friend. You are being "wire brushed" as an errant subordinate.
Moreover,
your skippers are not social workers who are inordinately concerned
about your "feelings", perceived inadequacies, or your self esteem.
They are interested in whether or not you are pulling the wagon, doing
your duty, and growing professionally, Friendship has absolutely
nothing to do with it.
The Professional Naval Officer - A Course To Steer By
RADM James A. Winnefield
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